I have wondered many times about this question. I suppose it has come back to the forefront after reading some of the latest comments on The God Journey’s last podcast and I felt I would love to know your opinion here on this.
Is it possible to become stuck after so much abuse that a person really can’t see through the mist, if I could call it that, and see God working in their lives? Have you ever heard of that before?
I ask this and give you a little insight here into where this comes from and how it rises itself in my situation.
I was in, what I have called an “abusive cult,” and remember many years back another who was in that same group said to me, I feel you are like a beached whale and unable to respond to God’s call.
At the time I felt that was true and to large extent took it onboard. It needless to say didn’t help but over the years I have come to know that was not totally true, yes there was so much that needed rewiring but I can see God has done a profound work in me and that importantly is on going. To mention a powerful moment, was when I was driving home from my old IC and feeling so disillusioned I felt Father say, "come away as I want to show you something."
That was the start of me coming away from organised religion and now walking daily working out my days with His help.
The other reason I ask and mainly why I place this here today as I feel I have placed a time scale on this transformation from that messed up way of thinking and think I should be in some form of relationship to other believers in my local area…
I also feel that this not necessarily what God thinks, I suppose, I need to ask it from someone else. Wow, it was only the other day I really think I woke up to the fact that I need to abandon my own agenda and take on His… as in Repent and Believe. Yup, I was thinking that it was say sorry for my sins and believe in God…
I don’t think it is clever to place any time scale on something when God is involved but is better to just leave it with Him and it’ll come to pass when it comes to pass… no use sweating it??
I do believe that God is bringing me back to abandoning my own agenda again to Him and this is an amazing side of Him showing me just how deep His work has gone and He now feels I can take on abounding myself into Him after being forced to abandon every part of myself before by force and brainwashing.
This time it’s through love…
from Colnbrook near Heathrow UK.