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Chapter 5: Questions for Wayne and Suggested Topics


#1

The questions you have are probably shared by many others. I’ll try to answer them here.

Wayne in Thousand Oaks


#2

“One can be a good Christian by fitting into a set of expectations and still not know Jesus or the transforming power he gives.” I have done this for years trying to fit in and do the “right” things. Father is showing me how much he cares, loves, and desires a relationship with me. Previously it was all an attempt to be validated or accepted, now I know that I already am.


#3

A speculative question, but do you think if Jesus died a more honorable death, the modern institutional church would look more like the church Jesus envisioned? Do you think the disciples maybe thought there had to be a better way than what Jesus presented to them, given the nature of His human demise? I hope I am making sense with this. Thanks in advance.


#4

Hi Ron. I’m not much for speculative questions like this because it would mean we’d have to make assumptions about their motives, which is never a good idea and all the more for those form a different time and culture. I don’t think we can blame the disciples for the “church” we have today either. What they had was very different than what it has become when man’s lust for power began to centralize authority and money.


#5

Thanks for the clarification Wayne. Guess it was the conspiracy theorist in me rearing its ugly head.


#6

I don’t know how to feel accepted by God. This is a fundamental problem.


#7

Gadelia… I agree and I hope you see that all that is going on in you right now is to bring you to that confident awareness. People come at it very different ways. Some are won to it by what the see in the Scriptures, others by the growing revelation of God in their own heart, still others by the love of others who convey Father’s acceptance of them. It helps me to see how Jesus treated his disciples and others, even when they weren’t doing the things he might want of them. His acceptance of us is the entire reason for the Incarnation and yet how he wins us into that reality is different.

It may help to think less of “how to feel accepted”, as it is, “Father, show me who you really are and how you see me.” It’s a work he does, and I’m convinced is doing in you now. Things are being sorted and rearranged in your heart, and though it is a very disorienting time, the day will come in the not so distant future where you will know at the core of your being that you are a deeply loved daughter of a gracious Father. Don’t try to convince yourself that’s true, let him win that space in your heart and mind…


#8

Gadiela, I just posted a reply to your reply… (Phew that’s a tongue twister)… ha-ha :smiley: to one of my posts in “What our History Has Confirmed.” and your comment, while I was pondering I saw a little girl in my picture. There was no answer from Father but only what Father said to the little girl on his knee,

I see Father lean down from his chair, gather a scared child in his arms and bring her up onto His knee. Bounce her once and draw her in for a mighty hug, whilst whispering in her ear with a big smile on His face, "it’s all taken care of, just relax and enjoy what I’m doing here."
That little child seems to noticeably relax, turn and start laughing as they look out form where they are sitting.

Then I came here to see your question to Wayne. . I felt to post it, at the risk of being disfellowshipped from the discussion… :joy: as could that of been a coincidence that I saw that imagery whilst answering you or was that the Spirit? I’m hoping it’s the latter??

I have spent many hours, days and months trying to feel accepted by Father and have to say these words that Wayne’s says here are so very true.

It may help to think less of “how to feel accepted”, as it is, “Father, show me who you really are and how you see me.” It’s a work he does, and I’m convinced is doing in you now. Things are being sorted and rearranged in your heart, and though it is a very disorienting time, the day will come in the not so distant future where you will know at the core of your being that you are a deeply loved daughter of a gracious Father. Don’t try to convince yourself that’s true, let him win that space in your heart and mind…

Allowing Father to take care of this acceptance issue was so important for me and is still something I am growing used to. It’s has been a pleasing struggle all the same and now I am starting to see that you really are blessed when your hanging by the teeth at the end of your rope. I’ve changed that with the adding of teeth in there as it best explains the painful moments but what surprised me and still is, it’s in those moments when things don’t see too cool and easy that I find God right there in the mess with me and we are wading through the mud laughing our heads off. :laughing:


#9

Along the lines of Gadiela’s statements of knowing how to feel accepted by God, and it is definitely a fundamental problem.
I am currently extremely devoid of hope in many areas. There are personal situations in my life that are at a critical stage. It’s not an unbelief in God’s existence, it is a difficulty in knowing his involvement in my personal life in a way that would make sense of that is too hard to express. The more I learn of how it could be, the further away I feel from its reality.


#10

My heart goes out to you, vjpcy. I don’t know when or how individual feeling succumb to the reality that is already true. You are deeply loved and delighted in by the Father who made all things. Only shame, sorrow, and missed expectations separate us from that reality. Nothing is more certain than that you are deeply loved by him without earning a bit of it. Keep asking him to reveal that to you. It is as true as the sun rising this morning, and yet those of us that have been raised in religious environments with performances based distortions of Scripture have a hard time accepting his love and grace. It is yours. I pray you will come to see it in the core of your being…


#11

Thank you, Wayne, for your words of encouragement. I find it hard to pinpoint the struggle I face about knowing acceptance by God. I have no problem with understanding the pitfalls that developed by and throughout the history of organized religious groups, I have no problem seeing that God was trying to convey a message to the world as a whole that was sorely misunderstood and misrepresented. My situation is more isolated to my ‘life.’ I’m not sure what to ask, and what to expect. I don’t want to treat God, or anyone, like a vending machine delivery system, so I struggle with the basics of life primarily on my own. I do ask God for direction, and I ask for insight as to what it is that keeps me from being able to secure that which is needed to survive physically in this life. I read, study, listen to others experiences and observations of their spiritual understanding and walk, but currently, I have no one with whom to enter into one on one discussions. Outwardly, I am supportive of others in any way possible. Inwardly I am melting, and I don’t understand how to understand / recognize / perceive of love directed toward me at any level… I have been asking the questions you mentioned and so far the silence is deafening. It’s like a word someone spoke to me, who didn’t know me, that they saw my life as sitting on the side of a sandbox, looking at the activity happening within it, and yet I wasn’t able to partake. That about sums up the loneliness inside.
I digress, this forum is about finding Church… and I am on board with the whole discussion about that and long to see more people awaken to that which they have been kept in the dark in relation that part of the journey.


#12

Yes, but to find church we have to learn how to rest in his love. But this is not something you have to understand or recognize on your own. This is a reality he is winning your heart into. It does take seem time for him to rewire the circuits that help you recognize what is already true of you. It’s for you as much as anyone…

Praying for you,

Wayne in Thousand Oaks, CA


#13

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. That is so descriptive of how I feel about my life. At least now we know we have company on the sidelines. :slight_smile:


#14

Yes, this image of the sand box is a good one. However, sometimes I feel like I’m the only one in the box enjoying the freedom to play and all of the people I know are on the outside looking at me like I’m crazy for playing because “there is work to be done for Christ…” :wink:
It is funny to imagine, but maybe there is no sandbox at all…just a big playground where we get to play in the circle with Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.? It is true, though, that to have a head knowledge about it is one thing, and quite another to have a heart knowledge of it. The good news is that He is the Author and Finisher of our faith…so it is His job right?


#15

Gadiela…

In response to your query… I don’t think I know what it “feels” like either. I know I am accepted by God on a deeper level than my feelings. I have experienced His Love manifested in me and through me. That is what I see and that is what makes Him real to me. Feelings are important, but I don’t believe they aren’t the only way to experience God’s touch in life.

You are on a journey like we all are. I hope you are experiencing the Love even when the feelings aren’t there.

Hugs from your Canadian sister!!!

Ruby from Calmar Alberta