Showing truly compassionate kindness and love is extremely difficult at times. I heard one author say it isn’t only difficult, it’s impossible… at least it’s impossible with our human strength (because it’s like the old sayings go, “to err is human” and “we all make mistakes”). That author went on to say that only Jesus could live it, and only Jesus could give it (or give us the power to live out this kind of love).
In my opinion, if you don’t have this kind of love in you, the best thing to do is to be honest with God… Tell him you can’t love like this, but then ask Him to make His almighty power work in you, and through you, so that you can have this kind of love overflow from you to others… Then relax in His love and see what He can do, and see what happens in your life.
These things aren’t easy when so many people have grossly mistreated us or our loved ones. I had a lot of people mistreat me in my past, and I have even had a lot of preachers that verbally abused me, were psychologically abusive, and falsely accused me of all kinds of silly stuff. As I said in my back ground story (see this Lifestream discussion link), I had to tell God that I couldn’t show love to people, and that He needed to give me power to do it, or else it wouldn’t get done.
I have noticed that when I ask God the Father to have His love flow through me to others, He actually does help me show His love. To keep it real and honest though, (1) I still need to ask God for His help on a regular basis, and (2) I still get angry with people sometimes, such as when people run me off the road and nearly get me killed due to their reckless driving habits.
Sometimes when we try to show love to others, the big problem becomes “we are trying”, or in other words, we aren’t living by faith, but are actually living through self-effort (or our flawed human flesh), and like the old sayings go, “to err is human” and “we all make mistakes”. So we are often left with Romans 7 experiences where the good things we want to do, we always seem to fail to do, and the mistakes and bad things we know we shouldn’t do, are the things we seem to end up doing. The only solutions I have ever seen are (1) get to know Gods love, stick close to Gods love, and learn to relax in His love, (2) live by faith instead of self effort, and (3) be willing to admit to God that you can’t do it, and ask Him to send His power to work in you to help you with these things…
I hope this helps, or at least gives some good ideas for friendly discussion.