The last half of this chapter listed traits of people that are catalysts, and I liked those descriptions a lot... however I'm not sure where to find these people (or if it's even a geographical place, a house, a building, a website, or even a book, etc.)... Although I would say that as I recently prayed and laid down some of my tightly held pet peeves, pet doctrines, pet projects, etc., (which was very difficult to do), and I seriously asked God for some help... some folks did seem to appear, in a way that I could find them... So I guess (in a way) you find them in Christ... Although you don't find them, the Holy Spirit guides you to them, or guides them to you... It often seems to happen while you are learning to relax into God's love, and letting go of some toxic things in your life. As you do that, others will see it and take notice... or God will bring others in due time, when the time is right.
This process can take a long time, and it can be very frustrating... It might be that God is working out a lot of things in you... So it's all good... It isn't that we are bad and God is punishing us by denying us friends... it's more like it's as if He's trying to grow us into beautiful flowers, and it might just take some extra time to cultivate the ground, in just the right way, so the flowers can grow to be the best flowers possible...
If I were to help others, I would start by simply being friendly and having some friendly conversations . I would then try to show them God's love, and if they seemed interested, I might show them books like this one (“Finding Church”). I would then give them space to grow and space to see if they paid attention to anything I told them. I would also try to remember to refrain from trying to force my ideas on others, which only seems to cause hard feelings. I'm currently trying to learn to give people space, and to give the Holy Spirit the space to work.
I have known a small number of pastors that did promote this sort of thing (like living by God's love and avoiding self-effort) although it has been very rare. I have known of people like Mr. Gayle Erwin for years (who Wayne mentioned). I have also found books by a few other authors, some of which, I later found that Wayne mentioned that he worked with also.
If I needed help in my journey, I think I would try to contact someone that was experienced and has been down the road of this journey for some time. I am very shy, and reaching out in this manner has been difficult for me. I can say that this discussion forum has been a great help or a catalyst for me... A few years ago I would have refused to be on a discussion group like this, because I would have assumed this forum was only for Wayne's 50 closest friends. However, as I noticed many of my old friends no longer associating with me, I looked for others to associate with. I then saw Wayne inviting people to this new book discussion group that he was about to start, and I had such a strong hunger for it, that I couldn't stop myself from joining. And I have loved every bit of it.
Bailey, NC (USA)